Persimmons
hard brown suga
mush pie peach
popping
Is it normal that excitement is pulping through me
for an encounter of the passive aggressive kind.
Got a hot date. got a hot date
okay well not so much a date as coffee, but the anticipation and planning
and the sexy innuendos that will be exchanged might as well categorize it
as an uber date thang. well it could turn into wine

very witful man and i will sit and retreat in what could have been and mostly what was.
Rewind to the evening of my PR job christmas party ...several jameson and ginger ales
later...us swapping speech on restraint
on the street
on the steps
on this place
tabas-costos
pink seducing
sobering on prince street
our combative romance narrow frustration
culminating off our black coats
and out of our exhausted flirtatious celestial crossing tongues
I was yelling, "What do you want me to do...(fill in name here), I mean wait for you? Tell me.
What can you promise me if anything. Me yelling Argh in frustration up into the air hoping it would pop into a blanket and settle down over us wrapping and warming all my doubt
I just couldn't hold on to it like it was real real
it felt so fuzzy all the time
fuzzy and pomegranate juice staining that I wanted to be hit with a shovel so I would know
in my haze of stars and crimson sweet on my buds
the angst was worth the pavlov dog dripping.
and so he signaled and sent across his lips that we shouldn't and wouldn't
and from a very afar distance it would be had in each other's minds still.
I slung that over my shoulder again much like, I had with the parting from the german love, the costa rican beauty, and leaving my mother for the second and third time to return to boarding school.
I sucked it up like pollen and pushed on.
and I was fine. I mean lusting over our shared poetry everylate once in a while but for the most part. I grew on.
So fast forward and pause to now...
We, I and (fill name here) are good. friendly. connected and jameson dew drop free, poetry lingering for some time, but I guess I see it differently then the gaze and words that passed so graciously between us. I get it and let it be as is. One of those loves that just appear and disappear leaving you gaping and from the total of the images that spooned you.
Ah.
a year lata
and i'm still spilling over persimmons discovery and costos that knelt near my hope and flushing smile tightening my back bone and fervently pasteurizing my honest gaze of what its supposed to feel like and how good it feels when you can release it to return
fleetingly maybe
but still so pie good again.